Grief and Loss Counseling

Therapy can help.

Coming to terms with your loss…

Meet Chris*. We worked together to heal from the sudden loss of his job. Acceptance therapy helped him overcome denial and subsequent feelings of failure and letting down his family. Commitment therapy helped him minimize self persecution, focus on his strengths and get back into the job market. We used psychodynamic methods to analyze self-sabotage and recognize his role in the loss due to deeply rooted behaviors.

Easing your sadness…

Meet Tom*. He faced despair when his wife of 47 years was diagnosed with serious cancer. We worked on supportive therapy to give him special time to vent overpowering emotions he felt uncomfortable talking about. CBT helped him accept his anger and negativity. We validated his need to blame someone and processed a series of regrets. These made him feel like a bad spouse. Looking at polarized and catastrophic thinking patterns and implementing thought restructuring helped him maintain more grey area neutral thinking that helped to calm his fears and anxiety. Hesitant at first, Tom learned relaxation techniques to help his insomnia.

Understanding the stages of grief…

Meet Debbie*. She was struggling 6 years after her husbands passing and she did not understand why. She felt abandoned by family and friends as “no one wanted to hear it “anymore. She found herself angry at the world and lashing out at others. We worked on the education of the stages and supportive therapy to give her a space to trace her grief reactions. CBT helped us reverse irrational thinking that drove her strong behaviors. Allowing herself to see that she had done nothing wrong in her journey helped her find peace with where she was.

Developing healthy ways to cope…

Meet Gina*. Her parents divorced when she was young, and she struggled in young adulthood. We used psychodynamic techniques to process her interpretation of events that led to her serious mental health issues. Processing emotions in a safe space allowed her to understand the extent of pain from her father’s abandonment. Acceptance and commitment therapy helped her put the divorce into perspective and allowed her to move forward with her health and personal goals.

Finding new meaning in life…

Meet Lynn*. 8 years after her husband’s passing, she felt lost and constantly questioned herself. He had been a dominant and controlling figure in the marriage. Supportive therapy allowed her to process anger leaving her with a mess of bills, no access to his electronic technology, and no burial plans. We used strengths-based assessments to validate the great job she was doing with what she was left. CBT allowed us to reverse the anger towards herself that she did not speak up. We processed psychodynamically how her family of origin made it easy to fall into the patterns that she did. We added relaxation techniques to ease anxiety. Confidence allowed her to embrace her new life stage.

Some common myths might discourage you from reaching out…

“The pain will go away if I ignore it.”

Maybe going about your day works has worked for you in other areas of your life. This is different. And it is ok to put your grief away at times. Dismissing it is a temporary fix. Loss reactions can creep into your life when you do not expect them — even years later.

“It’s important to stay strong.”

Putting on a brave front seems like the right thing to do. Somehow, you feel you need to protect others by not showing your true feelings. Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is typical. Holding your true feelings in will make grief harder for you in the long run.

“If I don’t cry, I am not sorry about the loss.”

Crying is a normal response but not the only one. You may have other ways of showing your sorrow, and that’s ok. This is a very individualized process; you deserve to determine how to do it.

“Grieving should only last a year.”

It’s hard to anticipate your grief cycle. It varies from person to person. It’s important to remember that it is yours and yours alone. You deserve the time you need to process your loss.

“Moving on means forgetting the loss.”

Think of moving on as acceptance of the event. It does not mean that you forget what happened. You can reinvent your life and keep sweet memories alive. These may be integral in defining the next stage of your life and help you build resilience.